Summer Rain
Just enough of rain
To bring the smell of silk
From the umbrellas
- A haiku by Richard Wright
Monday, June 23, 2008
Thursday, May 08, 2008
PEACE ?- For Whatever It's Worth
Alright, so this blog is solely being posted for the purpose of fighting back !! For the biggest child I have ever known - something has to be a favorite.. For us it is and has been fighting without rhyme or reason. Not that I am particularly peace-loving but c'mon! do I have to justify even my perfectly non-malicious sneeze!! (of course figuratively speaking). They ( and I do not know who they are, but) are absolutely right to say some things just do not change; especially when they deceptively insinuate a small change (and, for the record - 2 days late for the 18th and i said nothing!!!)
Alright, so this blog is solely being posted for the purpose of fighting back !! For the biggest child I have ever known - something has to be a favorite.. For us it is and has been fighting without rhyme or reason. Not that I am particularly peace-loving but c'mon! do I have to justify even my perfectly non-malicious sneeze!! (of course figuratively speaking). They ( and I do not know who they are, but) are absolutely right to say some things just do not change; especially when they deceptively insinuate a small change (and, for the record - 2 days late for the 18th and i said nothing!!!)
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Encounter
I saw you across the mist in that rainbow land. A kite hung low over my head for a few brief moments before it drifted away. It has been a million years since that chance meeting. I have not tried to look for you though you came across in many city-walks (in passing). When I hurdle under the heaters of an unknown hotel's entrance for a few seconds before continuing on my walk to nowhere and somewhere, I have felt a hand slip into mine.
Though there was nothing particularly noticeable about you, I have surprisingly found smatterings of you in billboards, in postal stamps, in vintage albums and T-shirt messages. Now the memory seems to be fading. All that remain are a bunch of rough lines and a discontinuous silhouette. Yet, I have not attempted to fill the gaps in with my imagination. I could... I would create the most beautiful and enchanting creature. Marvelous in every sense of the word; a heavenly body with a slanted smile. But where would I go to find the most curious flaws? The smirk in place of a smile. That yellow ochre that lingers in my head among all your other blacks and whites. Those glorious imperfections that shone through the mist that afternoon. And without those colors the picture would that be of someone else. Without those out of sync noisy notes, the music will be strange. Beautiful alright but not the same.
So now, when I meet myself in a different world in a different time continuum, I will close my eyes and will jump to reach for that bright green kite that will be hanging low over my head. So nothing lingers as memory, but just the essence within that can not be lost.
I saw you across the mist in that rainbow land. A kite hung low over my head for a few brief moments before it drifted away. It has been a million years since that chance meeting. I have not tried to look for you though you came across in many city-walks (in passing). When I hurdle under the heaters of an unknown hotel's entrance for a few seconds before continuing on my walk to nowhere and somewhere, I have felt a hand slip into mine.
Though there was nothing particularly noticeable about you, I have surprisingly found smatterings of you in billboards, in postal stamps, in vintage albums and T-shirt messages. Now the memory seems to be fading. All that remain are a bunch of rough lines and a discontinuous silhouette. Yet, I have not attempted to fill the gaps in with my imagination. I could... I would create the most beautiful and enchanting creature. Marvelous in every sense of the word; a heavenly body with a slanted smile. But where would I go to find the most curious flaws? The smirk in place of a smile. That yellow ochre that lingers in my head among all your other blacks and whites. Those glorious imperfections that shone through the mist that afternoon. And without those colors the picture would that be of someone else. Without those out of sync noisy notes, the music will be strange. Beautiful alright but not the same.
So now, when I meet myself in a different world in a different time continuum, I will close my eyes and will jump to reach for that bright green kite that will be hanging low over my head. So nothing lingers as memory, but just the essence within that can not be lost.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Oh Lord! We Pray For A Better Sunday
So, I have a thousand things to take care of. A decision to make that I have been fussing over last 5 days. I need to call my brother who is mad at me 'coz I have not called for years now. A lame bagel for breakfast on Sunday morning. I spilled coffee on the floor. **Deep breaths**
But, NO GOD, NO... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! Arsenal lost to Chelsea in what was arguably the most important match in the entire premier league... Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh ... Yes, this is it!! I just quit - signing off till I recover from my what currently seems like endless chaotic depression :-(
So, I have a thousand things to take care of. A decision to make that I have been fussing over last 5 days. I need to call my brother who is mad at me 'coz I have not called for years now. A lame bagel for breakfast on Sunday morning. I spilled coffee on the floor. **Deep breaths**
But, NO GOD, NO... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! Arsenal lost to Chelsea in what was arguably the most important match in the entire premier league... Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh ... Yes, this is it!! I just quit - signing off till I recover from my what currently seems like endless chaotic depression :-(
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Innocence et al.
A very dear friend told me today, " you should really consider moving back to India for you are losing the oh-so-you innocence here". Huh?? I smiled and joked that he just doesn't find me cute any more since he started seeing that skinny girl from west village who wears designer clothes!
On my walk to the subway, I thought - how does a place have anything to do with one's innocence! Or does it? But, I still am friends with the same/similar friends, like the same songs, books and need my solitary long walks just as much I always have. I know, I know - that doesn't prove my innocence (Gee! what have I done wrong? :-D), but I am trying to show the "K"s of my life.
Is it that I am getting too literal here? I clearly think differently from the way I used to when I was thirteen. But, that's called "growing up", isn't it? Hmm, I am becoming more "worldly-wise" or so I would like think. And that, I must admit, was not the most frequent prediction people made about me. And, from that perspective, loss of innocence is not an option really, but more an eventuality of adulthood. But then , may be he does have a point. May be I have just forgotten to find the innocence for me here. May be it has nothing to do growing up or survival. It could be that, just the way our taste, inclinations and personality evolves, so does each of our innocence. Does a different earth beneath your feet and a different sky above your head take away your innocence then or is it something else?
A very dear friend told me today, " you should really consider moving back to India for you are losing the oh-so-you innocence here". Huh?? I smiled and joked that he just doesn't find me cute any more since he started seeing that skinny girl from west village who wears designer clothes!
On my walk to the subway, I thought - how does a place have anything to do with one's innocence! Or does it? But, I still am friends with the same/similar friends, like the same songs, books and need my solitary long walks just as much I always have. I know, I know - that doesn't prove my innocence (Gee! what have I done wrong? :-D), but I am trying to show the "K"s of my life.
Is it that I am getting too literal here? I clearly think differently from the way I used to when I was thirteen. But, that's called "growing up", isn't it? Hmm, I am becoming more "worldly-wise" or so I would like think. And that, I must admit, was not the most frequent prediction people made about me. And, from that perspective, loss of innocence is not an option really, but more an eventuality of adulthood. But then , may be he does have a point. May be I have just forgotten to find the innocence for me here. May be it has nothing to do growing up or survival. It could be that, just the way our taste, inclinations and personality evolves, so does each of our innocence. Does a different earth beneath your feet and a different sky above your head take away your innocence then or is it something else?
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Afreen!
It lit up a thousand stars and I was left wondering what struck me. Droplets of innocence fell on the ground. I gasped to let out a whiff of brewing happiness inside me. He chuckled a little more. A perfect, perfect smile.. ear to ear.. pink cheeks smothered into a pair of rather wet, pink lips. No teeth whatsoever were in sight.. Just a set of pink gums - vehemently declaring his amusement! Oh, what a funny place this world is, he must be thinking. At the end of his chuckle, he drooled some more and winked at me. Not so much a wink, more like a squeeze of both his eyelids at the same time. I half-smiled and asked with my eyes - what are you so happy about? Think he understood, looked puzzled, may be even a little reprimanded. Uh oh, I was starting to feel a small pang of guilt. Why would I do such a thing when I always knew babies understand what you say with your eyes(And they do!). Just then, from under the blue hood, he stuck his tongue out and flashed his pink gums again in full defiance! I closed my eyes for a split second to store the picture. (I store happy pictures in my head for bad days and low points). Snap, shut and I started boarding my flight to India (yipieee)
It lit up a thousand stars and I was left wondering what struck me. Droplets of innocence fell on the ground. I gasped to let out a whiff of brewing happiness inside me. He chuckled a little more. A perfect, perfect smile.. ear to ear.. pink cheeks smothered into a pair of rather wet, pink lips. No teeth whatsoever were in sight.. Just a set of pink gums - vehemently declaring his amusement! Oh, what a funny place this world is, he must be thinking. At the end of his chuckle, he drooled some more and winked at me. Not so much a wink, more like a squeeze of both his eyelids at the same time. I half-smiled and asked with my eyes - what are you so happy about? Think he understood, looked puzzled, may be even a little reprimanded. Uh oh, I was starting to feel a small pang of guilt. Why would I do such a thing when I always knew babies understand what you say with your eyes(And they do!). Just then, from under the blue hood, he stuck his tongue out and flashed his pink gums again in full defiance! I closed my eyes for a split second to store the picture. (I store happy pictures in my head for bad days and low points). Snap, shut and I started boarding my flight to India (yipieee)
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
"Leave Me A Message" - Oh, how I Love It!
Yes I had a message last night and I am to return a call. State of denial, that lasted for the whole day and up until ten minutes ago.
*Oh Darn it! May be I should just dial and get over with it.
*The next minute - hold your horses, Barnali! What's the matter with you? Calm down and take some time to collect your thought.
*I mean, haven't I been doing that for last 13 hours and change. :O
I performed a little stress release exercise ( it works! - just curl and uncurl your fingers). Alright, deep breathe. My heart is out of control and hands are sweating. Frankly, this is embarrassing - thank God, there is no picture transmission through phone (yet).
Dialing: 796-779-4932 (OF COURSE! This is a made up number, duh!)
Deadly silence.. *Ughhh, how I miss the under appreciated friendly automated voice companion (Thank you for calling Citibank. Please listen to the following menu and make your selection...)
Ring..(Please don't pick up)
Ring..Ring..Ring..(Pleaseeeee! No)
Ring..Ring..Ring..
Ring (Wait,I am actually feeling bad that there is a chance this call might not happen?!?!)..
Click.. Hello, he says
(Oh NO! Omg, my heart's in my mouth) Brief Pause. Breathe!
I hear my utterly adorable, calm and composed voice go - "Hey, this is me. Whaddup?" (What the hell was that!! this is supposed to be a serious conversation!! What was that "whaddup"?? )
Yes I had a message last night and I am to return a call. State of denial, that lasted for the whole day and up until ten minutes ago.
*Oh Darn it! May be I should just dial and get over with it.
*The next minute - hold your horses, Barnali! What's the matter with you? Calm down and take some time to collect your thought.
*I mean, haven't I been doing that for last 13 hours and change. :O
I performed a little stress release exercise ( it works! - just curl and uncurl your fingers). Alright, deep breathe. My heart is out of control and hands are sweating. Frankly, this is embarrassing - thank God, there is no picture transmission through phone (yet).
Dialing: 796-779-4932 (OF COURSE! This is a made up number, duh!)
Deadly silence.. *Ughhh, how I miss the under appreciated friendly automated voice companion (Thank you for calling Citibank. Please listen to the following menu and make your selection...)
Ring..(Please don't pick up)
Ring..Ring..Ring..(Pleaseeeee! No)
Ring..Ring..Ring..
Ring (Wait,I am actually feeling bad that there is a chance this call might not happen?!?!)..
Click.. Hello, he says
(Oh NO! Omg, my heart's in my mouth) Brief Pause. Breathe!
I hear my utterly adorable, calm and composed voice go - "Hey, this is me. Whaddup?" (What the hell was that!! this is supposed to be a serious conversation!! What was that "whaddup"?? )
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